Snakes Are A Plane + Guy Made of Snakes GLOG Class

Guide to the Snakesource

 People, reputable people, "scholars" will tell you snakes, like all other reptiles come from eggs. They are correct in that and that knowledge should satisfy them, but the arrogant fools claim to know what happens in eggs. They claim snake embryos develop there from microscopic size, until they're ready to leave the eggs. This is, of course, patently untrue. Snakes come from the Snakesource (also known as the Ophidium, Skid Row, or the Warm, depending on who you ask, and if they're composed primarily of snakes). The Snakesource are a partial reality full of, and made of, snakes. Snake eggs (only snake eggs, other eggs are all completely mundane) are miniature portals snakes in our reality create to invite more of their brethren into our full reality. The only way to get in is to be really, really into snakes, or to be snakes. Snakes get back  by shedding their earthflesh.

The Land

It's snakes, all of it. No exceptions. The earth and stone are made of giant snakes wide as houses and hundreds of meters long, lethargic because of their size, interlocking and weaving together to create the ground. Water is made of snakes slightly thicker than hairs, wriggling hyperactively. There's also snake-vegetation (vegetation-snakes?) composed mostly of snakes jamming their teeth between the land-snakes' scales and staying upright through enviable muscle strength. The air is, of course, also made of snakes. They're huge, translucent, and only semi-corporeal. You'll always be walking through a snake, that's why the air is so warm and humid. Because you're always breathing snakes.

The Sky

Also Snakes. This time only three, though. There's the Snakesun, constantly slithering around the world. Its left eye is turned towards the land and from it raysnakes (Yes, the sunrays are also snakes, but they're the least corporeal type, even less so than the air snakes.) rain down, nourishing all the snakes making the land. Only sunrays made of snakes can really feed a snake, but the habit lives strong even in snakes temporarily inhabiting full reality, which can often be seen spread out on rocks, lapping up the worthless light. The other two snakes make up the remainder of the sky, on both sides of the Snakesun. They're both much larger than it, but also much less important. Sometimes people try giving them names, like Southsnake and Northsnake, but the Snakesource doesn't have magnetic directions so it doesn't really make sense. Snakes don't need names anyway. Guys made of snakes usually don't either. It's only the snake nutjobs who try to uphold the useless nomenclature and they suck at giving names.

The People

The only element not made of snakes, some of them anyway. The ones that aren't are the once that managed to think their way in by being unhealthily affectionate towards snakes. They mostly just hang out, breathing in the fresh snake-air, trying to make friends with snakes (who almost always find them incredibly embarassing) and in general using the location as a slightly unusual vacation spot. Then there's the people that are made of snakes. Most of them are just groups of snakes that decided to try out personishness for a while. The rest are the snake-nerds who spent enough time in the Snakesource that their enitre bodies rebuilt themselves in snakes. The two kinds are indistinguishable most of the time.

Guy Made Of Snakes

 My friend Roberto drew this Guy Partially Made Of Snakes. Here's their twitter:

SD: d6

A: Made Of Snakes, Solar Affinity
B: Dispersal. Weird Snake
C: Structural Integrity, +1 Weird Snake
D: Full Gas No Brakes,, +1 Weird Snake

Made Of Snakes - You're made of snakes, with all that entails. Instead of a Hit Die you have a Snake Die, which determines the number of big, structurally important snakes smaller ones coil around. If you lose a hit point one of these snakes is forced to shed its earthflesh and return to the Snakesource. You can summon them back by laying eggs (requires an extra ration and eight hours uninterrupted time for each clutch of d8) and then an hour and one egg per snake to call for them to hatch. You can carry as many eggs with you as you want. A box of eight eggs takes one slot and on sudden impact there's a 1-in-6 chance the eggs are damaged. You cannot heal normally.

You can't use weapons. Instead you may lunge at your opponent with your snake-fingers or other snake-body part, dealing d4 damage per level. You can't use armor, but your loose nature grants you +4 to AC against thrusting weapons and projectiles. You can't use backpacks, on account of having no back, but you can carry a sack by placing it in your center and surrounding it with snakes. Even then, you can only carry half as much as a character with equivalent strength. You can't swim while carrying items.

Solar Affinity - This sun's rays have no effect on you, but they still remind you of the benevolent gaze of your sun-snake-god. In clear, sunny weather you gain +4 to saves against mental effects.

Dispersal - You've gotten some practice at being a person and now you're reasonably sure you could do it even when you're not artificially sustaining the shape of a guy. You can temporarily drop the form of and turn into a procession to snakes to pass through holes as narrow as a grown human's forearm, or pass through another obstacle you potentially could this way.

Weird Snake - One of the snakes that joined you recently is quite unusual, in this reality at least. A snake can do their thing once per day. Roll on the table below.

  1. Deadly Venom - Can bite someone to attempt to inject them with venom. An attack roll is only necessary if you wouldn't be able to touch them normally. Animals smaller than a large dog die after d4 turns. Human-sized creatures get a save. On a success they get d8 damage and their balance and perception are impaired for about an hour. On a fail they get d6 turns to do something that will get the venom out (like sucking it out or an amputation), otherwise they die. People will generally know some Guys Made Of Snakes have that ability and will be wary of letting you get close if they don't completely trust you.
  2. Constrictor - On a succesful attack this snake can coil around its target. The target must make a  succesful Strength or Dexterity or continue to be crushed for d6 damage per turn. This snake is also much stronger than most comprising you, and is much more useful when holding things in place or pulling them together. It's still physiologically quite unsuited to pushing.
  3. Air Snake - This one's semi-corporeal, translucent, and can float through the air. Once per day it may depart for a short time to scout a location ahead from air. (maybe functions like a Map spell if you have one of those)
  4. Ray Snake - One of the tiny, barely physical rays constantly launched from the Snakesun's left eye in the Ophidium. It can pass through any translucent liquid or glass. Once per day it can be persuaded to enter a person's mind through the eye (if they have eyes) and give you a report of their surface-level thoughts. To the target it feels like receiving a tiny electric jolt to the brain. They may or may not realize what you've done.
  5. Exotic and Beautifully Patterned - This snake has known wealth and luxury. Positioning it more visibly may grant you greater esteem among merchants and noblemen. Additionally, it may once per day estimate the value of a treasure or decide whether a jewel or object made of precious metal is genuine, or a forgery.
  6. Hypnotizing - Probably a cobra of some kind. You may use this one to attempt to induce a kind of stupor on an unwilling target. If they fail a save, they cannot move or act in anyway as long as the hypnotizing snake makes eye contact. The other snakes are allowed to reform as a person elsewhere in that time, but they cannot leave hissing range.

 Structural Integrity - Now that you're strengthened and used to utilizing all of your snake-body you can arrange yourself into all sorts of useful shapes. If all of your snakes bite one another's tails you can form a rope some 25 meters long. It won't sustain the weight of anything much heavier than a small monkey, though. You can make yourself into anything a mass of incredibly cooperative and well-trained snakes would be, but keep in mind the binds (mostly snakes biting or coiling around other snakes) are unlikely to bear much weight.

Full Gas No Brakes - You've figured it out. You take personhood on and off like a glove. At, will you can stop being a Guy Made Of Snakes for a fraction of a second and start being just a pile of snakes in the shape of a guy. If you're a target of a spell or effect that would only impact one being, like a charm spell, you can, instead of saving normally, choose to lose 1 HP for as long as the effect would last, as one of your composite snakes takes it on and becomes temporarily useless. You could also just become a regular pile of writhing snakes at any time for as long as you'd like, if you ever had a reason to do so.


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GLOG Class: Human (race-as-class)

GLOG Setting/Campaign Format: Draakdeure